im so full im so full im so full!

right.

today was a horrible good day.
i got that.
i had tuition in the morning
i was sneezing
i've been having a headache
some things went wrong.
i somehow feel quite disappointed at some things.
i met lsr n hzm for lunch. we went to secret recipe for lunch.
i met sfc ppl at swensens for dinner.

its an emo day

happy birthday to me.


**clause. [added later]
i was actually happy on this day. juz at the point of blogging i was kinda emo. hah!**

ahh! so fast so fast! its friday the 13th!
nope. not gonna say. how!?!?! its the 13th. its friday. coz i m not superstitious.

anyways. friday liao. so fast. 3rd week of june hols over!
stress laaa. 1 more week only!
n gss gonna end! *frantically rush to buy stuff*
not only is gss ending.. june hols is ending.. [not related to me but more for my tutees.. esp the jc n sec sch ones. which = stress for me. midyear/blocks ahhh. then... Os, As. *faints*]
but... uni term starting!!!
yikes.
so exciting right. hmm..

then theres not only sch starting. but it also means.. i need to get alot of stuff b4 sch reopens!!
coz...
theres the lack of uniform. so clothes.
theres the need for a laptop. so a bag which can carry it plus the laptop. oh! i like the brown one at tamp.. buttt i think it cant fit a laptop. boohoo.
theres the shoes i need to run about in. so sports shoes? but i dont want that. sick of wearing that after 2 years. so i want those kinda converse kind. but so far none that i like laa. *pouts*
[ok this not related to uni.. but...] i want a new wallet. coz im kinda irritated w mine coz it has no where to put coins. rah.

past few days been interesting! hahaa.
not referring to the tuitioning part. coz erm. well sometimes i get quite exasperated when they cant seem to get it again n again. sigh. one thing i hope i dont do is to sound too angry or sth. or i when i give the... DONT TELL ME U DONT KNOW look. hahaha. what if i scare them. hmm. dont think so right.. i look so harmless. lol.

ok back to y interesting...
coz i went shopping! lol.
with aml n wyt on monday! so long nv seen them / go out with them. ahhh. so many funny incidents. lol. a usual when we get out together..
on tues.. shopping w anl! haha. it was a tues.. n we tried finding gelare in tamp. but.. dont have! whyy. i want my half priced waffle. hahaha. but we managed to get our pizza hut student's price meal. hehehe.. took pics pics! yay. i miss her so much. when was the last i saw her? feb? i think so.
wed was tuitions.. n dunno y end of day... last tuition i was like. erm high. hahaha. said a lot of weird things i wouldnt on a usual day. hahaha. n i was laughing like erm. alot. he muz have thot ive gone abit mad.
thur.. anl n i n our v funny conversation bout u know who. ahahahaha. not v safe to write here.. coz if not we'll b getting death threats.. n when i return to sajc... i'd probably b stoned to death b4 i go up stage. LOL!

right. so long since i blogged happy stuff eh? haha.

alright.

if i didnt ask.. u wouldnt tell me huh.

now i cant seem to believe if i see it right. coz i dont see.
or mayb coz ive been crying to myself that i killed them.

cant u 2 juz give me a signal n not murder me like that?
rah.
well i guess i did save the 2 of u.
i think.
show me that it is true.

right.
well i think i did it.
stop self inflicting that its not possible.
right.
my self given present.
i love u 2 for that.
right.
im going slighly bonkers coz of u.
but i still..
cry coz im happy.

hahx.
i love u 2.

after the rain...

n now the prev post is so uncalled for.
call me paranoid.

i guess u 2 might come here...

agenda was simple. i wanted u 2 to reconcile n patch up. coz its over such a dumb misunderstanding.

but i guess it was dumb of me. to think i could paint a fantasy disney world in the tiny brain of mine. to think that u 2 love each other like i love the 2 of u. to think i would have such a power to undo what was never done.

i hope u see what i see in u 2. dont u remember the times we were all together having fun... chattering n laughing? dont u see the 2 of u in those smiling pictures u once shared? or we once shared?
i see a friendship which was once was. but might never ever be again.. because of nothing. or mayb even coz of me.

oh y did i even think i could do it? y did i ever tried? ultimately.. y did i even bother? because i dont see how a friendship as such could go this way. plus its over i dont know what. n i cant seem to put it in the right light... why we can never go out together like before

im sorry. for even thinking or trying.
now im a sorry prick. crying over the lost of u 2.
i hate myself.

girls r really such bitter animals. we spit venom, claw at each other, pull each others' hair n we will never forget.

now if u muz scream shout n spit venom at each other.. i hope u kill me 1st.
the 2 years of torture.. i cant bear to continue onlooking like nth has happened. now if it muz go on worst than the past.....
really.. kill me 1st. n i thank u for doing so.
coz i dont think i can go on going out with the either of u n thinking y the other is missing from the picture. i nv had a peace of mind when i went out with the either of u. if i go out w A.. i'll think if only B was here as well.. like it used to be.. n when i go out with B.. i'll think y aint A here to add in to the our cheer.. like it used to be..

i think i juz lost 2 of my bestest friends. i think they hate me now.

call me a dreamer. a girl who lives in a fantasy disney world of her own..

now.. i really had such a wonderful time with the 2 of u yest n today.. n i cant believe those days r gone...
i wished i blogged 1st how i loved yesterday n today.. going out with u n u.. w/o thinking bout tuition..
but i guess.. like u cant turn back wad happened between the 2 of u.. i cant turn back wad i tried n did.

now.. i'll look back n say.. "what a pity.. i tried. n i gave up. so long..."




Lord...
pls do mend my broken soul n theirs.
open their hearts..
bring it back to what it once was..
i love u.
i hope u love each other too.