rambles.

5.11.2010

hello.
today. ok, maybe yesterday.
we did what we've been doing.
it feels wrong really.
but its feels so good.
and i (maybe we) just can't help it.
but.....
we really shouldn't huh? :(


i realise.
day by day...
i'm falling.
falling deeper and deeper.
so much so that...
i can't stop myself anymore.

teach me.
how do i
stop this.
to stop this feeling i feel.
so that i can...
not feel this guilt, this pain.


i think i
am becoming
more and more
addicted to
you

i can't help
really can't
stop thinking
and wanting
you

i know it
is not love
but it is
also not
anymore

i can't
differentiate
and i can't
not wonder
if i would
fall

i really
wish i could
stop myself
having this
feeling


i desire
and i get jealous
and i get bitter
and i get stuck in this rut
i recall back and i'd say
"don't go. stay. don't go. don't leave me."
you'd say
"i'm here. i'll always be here."

but i know
in the end
you won't.