cant stand it anymore.
sorry if this is gonna stress u if u read..
but i need juz somewhere to vent.

i enjoy teaching.
i really do.
tho it gets me up n down sometimes..
i still find the rewards satisfying.
but i know i definitely cant take it on full time/long term.

ok.
actually thats irrelevant. hahx.

wad i wanna say is...

im such an emo girl! ahhh..
im so emotionally attached.

after finishing the 10 lessons in the sch.
i realised i was really sad deep down inside.
tho happy it finished..
part of me yearns to continue still.
tmr.. yet another 10 lessons end.

so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.
i leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye, goodbye.


another is...
dunno how to put it. only know...
i feel so helpless and useless when it happens...
feels like its my fault? my inability to help.
it hurts me, pains me and breaks my heart.
to see dat im unable to make this poor soul feel better, improve n gain confidence.
to see efforts but nth back in return.
to see spirits dampened, broken, shattered.

i think i try i ponder i analyse.
but i dont know what i can do!
nth helps.
tell me what to say.
give me the words.
words of encouragement to juz lift his spirits.
to bring him back to himself.

deep in thoughts...
i find a way. i think of ways.
i think of why. find out why.
what to do. how to go about it.
whats the plan now?!

just like what my friend told me..

in the heart of a teacher...

even if the whole class is able to give u distinctions except one student.. ultimately its still that one student which matters.

thinking... y issit that i cant seem to help him? all but that one? why.

deep down inside my heart cries for u.
silly.
i even shed tears.

anyhows..
juz wanna say..
tho i dont know how.
neither can i say i understand how u feel...
coz i know i can nv do so entirely.
i still wanna tell you...
i'll be there for you.
i'll support you.
ultimately... i believe in God.
may He be your pillar of strength.
have faith. be strong. you can do it!