thinking on the long bus ride...

today went to changi holiday flat for some facilitation training workshop by svc... it was really interesting... n i learnt lots from it! its gonna be really useful for yv n many other stuff! oh yeah n saw hm.. he looked so diff now... haha.. the power of ns..

then the ride home was super long... i mean.. it was really sian la.. night time.. then the bus very lil ppl.. so lonely... dun really like dat kinda feeling.. makes u think alot..
everytime im all alone.. taking a long bus ride.. esp when its nite time.. it sets me thinking.. thinking alot.. reflecting.. its good in a way.. but really saddening...

this was wad i thot on dat bus journey.. i think.. i haven really seriously been happy after Os were out.. the smile i have on my face.. was.. seriously. forced.. i spent the last 3 weeks in vj acting happy.. it was really painful.. n now i regret.. y didnt i treasure the time in vj? but it wasnt ez... i couldnt bring myself to enjoy.. couldnt be happy.. taking photos was kinda painful.. esp with the vj ppl.. it was forced. damn forced. so fake.. i cant believe myself.. going to qjm's blog.. looking at myself.. i saw thru it.. the eyes were dazed.. n the smile.. was juz smile n nth else.. there was no joy in me.. juz heart wrenching pain.. an act. all on the outside..

right now... im glad.. im over dat phase.. in a norm state.. not so the cheery me.. but happy.. enough to enjoy everything so far...

im thankful for my sa og.. coz of them i felt comfortable in sa.. yay! n now i can enjoy the rest of my jc life! n also bacy of coz.. always lending a listening ear! haa..