michelle branch - goodbye to you

i wonder.. y.. y issit dat i always make myself feel bad? make myself feel the way i do..

or mayb its juz the songs.. songs with leave an impact in you.. coz its EXACTLY wad u feel inside.. in the unconcious u..

after leaving the oh-so-wonderful jc which i managed to spend 2 months in.. i find myself indulging in really sad sad songs.. not really sad but. the words. yes the words.. each time i hear them.. it juz pierce thru my heart.. n gets stuck there till a happy tune comes along..

n each time dat happens.. i ponder.. think.. wonder.. n hope knowing its obviously not gonna come true..

then also.. i would go back to those places.. in my own wonderland.. or to the webs.. reading the n3s.. trying to relive the days.. but actually feeling worst inside.. knowing i was not part of it.. n never will b..

n after doing so.. i wonder y do i torture myself so? y cant i juz put it behind me..

i hope all of these would dimish quick.. as its only slowly fading away now..

so heres the song which triggered it all..

Goodbye to You
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star


but at least.. ive got my dear dear classmates, sfc ppl, og ppl.. n knowing we'll have all the fun for the next 2 years..